This is a truncated, modified version of a list i found on the internet of over 200 things
to do when i take over the world. These are my favourites - thought you'd like them.

1.My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 

2.I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have
redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at
least two fully loaded weapons at all times. 

3.My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which
I could not accidentally stumble. 

4.I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 

5.I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just
make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. 

6.I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I
will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. 

7.Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. 

8.I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and
kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for
revenge. 

9.My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely
incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks. 

10.My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to
hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. 

11.No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat
every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. 

12.I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. 

13.My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not
construct walkways above them. 

14.Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. 

15.Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide
each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

16.My doomsday machine will have a highly-advanced technological device called a
capacitor in case someone inconveniently pulls the plug at the last second. (If I have
access to REALLY advanced technology, I will include a back-up device known as a
battery.) 

17.If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old
granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to
first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero
launches into an explanation of morality way over her head that will be her cue to pull
the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like
crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with
the grandkids. 

18.Whenever plans are drawn up that include a time-table, I'll post-date the completion 3
days after it's actually scheduled to occur and not worry too much if they get stolen. 

19.I will not outsource core functions. 

20.If my mad scientist/wizard tells me he has almost perfected my Super weapon but it
still needs more testing, I will wait for him to complete the tests. No one ever
conquered the world using a beta version. 

21.I will not appoint a relative to my staff of advisors. Not only is nepotism the cause
of most breakdowns in policy, but it also causes trouble with the EEOC. 

22.All giant serpents acting as guardians in underground lakes will be fitted with sports
goggles to prevent eye injuries. 

23.All crones with the ability to prophesy will be given free facelifts, permanents,
manicures, and Donna Karen wardrobes. That should pretty well destroy their credibility.


24.If I ever MUST put a digital timer on my doomsday device, I will buy one free from
quantum mechanical anomalies. So many brands on the market keep perfectly good time while
you're looking at them, but whenever you turn away for a couple minutes then turn back,
you find that the countdown has progressed by only a few seconds. 

25.I will build machines which simply fail when overloaded, rather than wipe out all
nearby henchmen in an explosion or worse yet set off a chain reaction. I will do this by
using devices known as "surge protectors".