I hate bus drivers.
All of them. There aren't any nice ones. They're all pricks. Every last one. They may be
nice people at home but behind the wheel they turn into mini-fascists who think the
plexiglass screen will actually stop me from getting to them.
I'm sure you've all experienced the following at some point:
1) The bus goes dangerously fast. Pensioners fall over. You fear for your life.
2) The bus crawls along - he's obviously early and doesn't want to drive too fast.
3) The bus parks up at a stop and the driver fucks off to the newsagents for 10 mins.
4) The bus parks up at a stop and the driver reads his paper for 10 mins. Don't get me
worng, have your break AT THE FUCKING TERMINUS - NOT DURING MY JOURNEY!
5) The bus driver is an egotistical prick who thinks he's better than you. I'm a teacher
you idiot - i finished university and have a degree. I wear a suit for work. I get paid 3
times what you get. I pay your wages. If it wasn't for me you'd just be an unemployed bum
who can drive badly. Your company exists to serve meeeee!!!! *ahem* I have a car but
choose to commute to work. I am a member of Greenpeace after all.
6) The driver fails to notice the cannabis/crack pipe/arms dealer on the bus but
unerringly homes in on your packet of crisps and informs you that you can't eat on the
bus. I smile at him and tell him to call the police to arrest those in possession of
illegal narcotics upstairs first. He goes away.
7) You're on an empty bus. Scary bag lady gets on and sits next to you. And starts a
conversation. Of every seat on the bus, why here?!
8) The slinky goth girl/boi never sits next to you. Even if it means standing. Or maybe
that's just me. :(
9) Prams get on and expect preferential treatment. You shat the little fucker into the
world you selfish cow, now i have to stand up to make room?
10) People who take up the room of ten men. Then look at you funny when you perch on the
edge of the seat muttering.
11) What is it with commuters and not washing anyway? SOme of them smell like rotten
meat... |