...had a real bad addiction to some funky beats, which combined with his party product
prowess made him an unbeliveably out of control wild boy raver....
 

from south alabama his uncle was a gold digger on the outskirts of turky and had a dog
named sam sams vet was french and grew peanuts for a hobbie while eating a mexican stand
of apple one day he saw........... 

...a really bright yellow Hyundai Excel, all souped up and ready for a 1/4 mile... NOT!!,
Inside the car was Joseph's arch enermy Steve. Also known as "tosser" or "Yuppy"... 

Steve challenged him to a quater mile race. Lucky for Joseph, His mates Kam and Twhizz
rocked up in a 1081HP GTR Skyline.... 

Steve started to shake, something was not right here... it hurt, he started to wonder if
that guy with the slightly evil grin and the shirt saying 'bEAT_frEq' had done to
something to him, but then dismissed it because he'd only had a beer with him. He steeled
his nerves, revved his rice burner (wishing he had installed the speaker to make the pssht
sound whilst changing gears, to give him that extra 'edge') and.... 

Dropped the transmission onto the street. Unfortunately for him , the stocko rice cooker
Hyandai "sports" 5 speed could only handle a rated 70kw. As he tore the front end off his
korean snot box, he looked over to the Skyline, hurtling up the street. With Andy_Tea
skiing on frying pans on the back (alah homer simpson style) he shit his pants
repeatedly. Realising the beatzah had slipped him a shitload of copper sulphate. Joseph
turned to his new friends and said ...... 

The group pulls over to the side of the road past the 400m mark in a spectacularly precise
lock and spin...
With no means to stop, Andy goes hurtling down the road past them still in the flying
pan... only Kam notices, and breaks into a run after him...
"That's a kick ass machine you've got man! is it an HKS??" Joseph asked as he stepped out
of the now parked Skyline, rush of adrenaline evident in his voice... "and you should have
seen that tosser's face when we hit it!!" he continued...
T-whizz just shrugged and grinned like nothing ever happened...
  

Breaking mind grin, Twhizz looks robotically at Kam, running after a hurtling AndyTea. As
beatzah pulls up in his Triple Turbo Fiat 500, he too burts into histerics. Kam catches
up with AndyTea, and brings him back to the car. Joseph is astounded at the antics of
this group. Kam notices a group of black Proton GTI's pullin in. Hurryly they clamber
back into the Nismo GTR and The Teabag and Beatzah Fire up the Triple Turbo Fiat 500.
This time with Kam behind the wheel, the Twhizz locks up 2 Ingram Mac10's...... 

oops I stuffed something up... 

... forgot to put the silencers on... phew... click click. 

...and shoots himself in his left boot, luckily for him he was unhurt as reflective matter
attached to the base of his "TRANCE PANTS" deflected the bullet, the aformentioned driver,
dancer, feel onto the yielding ground  and screamed, "... 

bEATz and Andy stop to load up their desert eagle .50 Cals, glance a T-wizz and wonder
what the fuck is going on (We couldn't hear the shot cos our sound system is doing it's
best to blow our eardrums).
bEATz directs Andy to a tin in the glove box and they proceed to chop some wicked
kandahar, 15 cones, and 2 minutes later, beatz slowly drives up to T-wizz and Kam and
hands Them the double chamber, "get a dog up ya boys, have a cone. Then lets go bash some
yupper posers".... 

Runnin hard on the crystal, the Twhizzz declines the the offer, but points to the on
coming rice squad. Raising their weapons similtaneously alah Resivoir Dogs style, the let
loose a barrage of bullets. Ting tang ping pang the Protons get a wallaping..... 

...watching all this happen on TV, was a middle aged, beerbellied, bolding typical Aussie
truckie yob named Bob with his VB stubbies in his hand and sucking down on PJ's in the
other.
Dressed to kill in his blue singlet and rugger shorts. with his Blueheeler Max by his
side... 

Then all of a sudden the group bust through his door. "We need your help!" says Kam. "Fuck
off" the yobbo exclaims... "It's a #### long weekend!" ... So with that, the group call
"Operator" on their mobiles... and one by one get pulled from the matrix..... 

...only to become intertwined in some style of madness...spracian twisted nature, where
any or all of their thoughts emerge as digitized neon world wide web notions, where the
possible is just and time was a lost acid blast from a under the tongue past and smoke
machines had full and total control...  

........ssssssssssssssssssnorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt...................... 

And finally they emerge on the other side. Smooth as..something really smooth, like a...
well thats a bit graphic for our female readers, so maybe a babys' butt. Cold as...a
really cold thing, like ice, yeah that's cold. This side being... 

... The uncontrollable Trance planet. Where the world is just one big speaker. and the dj
leviatates above the massive.. with telepathy knows what the people want to hear... "I'm
home Twhizz shouts".. and does a double spin to drop to spin up jump!....... 

jump everybody jump everybody jump jump jump jump ..... 

into the soft and yielding arms of 

a spongy A1 rave rabbit, then things get really strange. 

all of a sudden, a group of plushies burst through the door and start rubbing them selves
up and down the A1 rave rabbit... NAKED!! 

At this point, the twhizz looks at kam and kam nods. he points at the orgy and the beatzah
blows it apart with a double barreled crowd pleaser. Andytea ripps open a worm hole back
to earth. The crew enter the worm hole and.... 

are pinned to the ground by a hoard of angry dentists, when... 

Andy T drops another microdot.. at which point the whole universe begins to curve around a
giant yellow paint brush... 

where he is forced to paint the words "DON'T STOP DANCING!!!!", across the length of
Hershal Street. 

Meanwhile back at the BAT CAVE, AndyTea and Kam were showing batman what the batdots,
batcones, batpills, batmeth and batcid were for...... 

when in swooped batwomen ravers, who wanted a paaaaarty!!! 

Swiftly, Kam gets on the decks and start spinning some funkin' deep bass rhythms and
mixing in some psychedelic riffs over it. In complete sync, T-whizza produces a micro
optical effect device out of his 4 dimentional pocket and gets some mind bending light
and laser shows on!!

Kam and Twizzah! had created the perfect enviroment...but where was Joseph in all the
optical NRG chaos? (had he been forgotten?) 

... not hardly .. just as this was mentioned, joseph darted out from within the shadows,
peakin' like a motherfucker. It turns out beatzah had spiked his drink with a microdot, 4
tabs, a green number 1, a blue smurph, an orange number 3, a orange HQ, a red superman, a
white mitsi, a purple MX and a cream envelope.... Joseph was trashed, climbing onto the
speakers he screamed...... 

......."I WAAAAAAAAAAANT MIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
MUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!"....and then the
groovin', movin', ravin', crushin' crowd look up with big, very huge smiles. 

As he chugged harder and harder into the night, the crowd blurred into pastel colours.. he
couldn't see any more.... it all went black.. He then woke in his bed.. the alarm clock
screamin' .. it was 730am and he was late for work.


The End


 

But...not truely...as there are 10 alternate endings in SPRACI format including several
funny out takes. 

Twhizzah! - yeah...i know it's your tale, lets all begin 'air-freshinar' and dooo it agian
as Kam would like, I am sure....i hope u r dancing 2 nite, all da' beast! ;-)